Thursday morning I decided to have some coffee in the living room and switch on the TV, as I was curious to see Dr Christine Blasey Ford and hear what she had to say. Prior to Thursday the only image the world had of her was a blurry snapshot of a teenage girl. But of course a grown woman walked into the hearing, obviously very nervous, quite apologetic, but more than capable of describing exactly what happened to her. I ended up watching all her testimony (Rudy and Emily had to wait until the end of the day for their walk). I’m sure I am not the only woman whose eyes filled with tears as she listened; Dr Ford was shoved into a room by 2 drunk boys, shoved down on a bed, groped while they laughed their heads off. And since she spoke out on Thursday the reaction has been everything you might expect when a woman talks about an assault – she’s got it wrong, she’s very vague, it wasn’t that bad, she shouldn’t have been there, why is she speaking out now? But as this is 2018 there is something else in the mix of reactions, and that is belief, a solidarity from all the other women who went through very similiar things and kept their shame and embarrassment to themselves, too scared to talk.
After listening to Dr Christine Blasey Ford and watching senators shuffle out white-faced during recess, I had to listen to Brett Kavanaugh also. I am a Democrat and not predisposed to believe him, but I was prepared to listen to what he had to say. What I was not prepared for was the sheer deluge of anger and rage he brought to the hearing – his utter fury that his rightful place in the world, as he sees it, had been challenged. Apparently the accusations against him are all a ruse by liberals and the Clintons, out for revenge. We heard, repeatedly, about how he had worked his butt off, got into a top college, was on the football team and now his life was being torn apart. In a dog whistle to his supporters and the Trump base who have hijacked religion in order to validate their misogynistic, racist views, he told the sory of how his young child had suggested the family ‘pray for the woman’ – one of the few times he mentioned Dr Ford. His face was screwed up in anger as he talked and shouted and he either has a facial tic or needed to blow his nose. When questioned, he was belligerent and sarcastic, as well as vague and evasive.
I have felt depressed since Thursday. Women are usually shouted down; I’m afraid this will happen again and this angry, petulant, rich brat will get nominated.